I kind of cannot believe I just typed that title. My oldest child just entered her teens. On this week, thirteen years ago my life changed forever. Emry taught me what it means to be a mom, what it means to love another being so desperately it hurts, and what true exhaustion feels like. Her tiny little self was such a passionate, spitfire of a child that pushed every button that could possibly be pushed.
Diving deep into motherhood as a child myself is the single most challenging thing I have done in my entire life. Sometimes I feel guilty, like she got the worst of me while I was learning the ropes – but then I realize she also got all of my best moments as well.
To my loveliest, hard-headed and stubborn oldest child – I love you dearly to the moon and back. Your personality will serve you well in the years to come. I have only five years left to help you mold your future self and while that makes me sob, I cannot help but look back and realize the job well done by both of us. We taught each other so much about life. You my dear are courageous, beautiful, funny, and passionate about life. You love those that cannot help themselves and you stand firm in your beliefs. You know your limits but you are willing to push them to try new things. The best advice I can give you is to love God and don’t ever let life hold you back. You taught me to be a better mother – for that I will be forever grateful. I hope you know that I have always done and will do my very best for you.
Today you are having your “biggest birthday party ever” and as I sit here in tears, I am so proud of you. For everything that you have overcome and everything that you will achieve. You deserve the very best that life has to offer and I love you deeply.